Ok, I am sitting here, it is after 9pm and it is also St. Patricks Day. Not only am I debating whether I should be responsible and stay home, get work done and get a few blog posts in, or go out and party my ass off, and by that I mean have one or two drinks and head home for bed. God I hate getting old. Well at least growing up, I’ll never be older than, well, 22 or 25 when I hit 50. Anyways, it is weird when my friends all are getting married, some have kids and most of then can’t go out on nights like tonight like we used to.
Most of us just don’t care about the bars anymore, I have cabin fever so I am dying to go somewhere, and the ones who have kids always use the excuse that they can’t find a baby sitter. That is the biggest load of crap on earth. There are tons of homeless people and drug addicts you can let into your house to watch the kids for a few hours and the best part is they’ll work for scratch (yes the drug reference is intended….mirror scratch, snort, etc…) ;-).
Anyways, I don’t buy the excuse that I can’t go out because I have kids and responsibilities now. I can’t find anyone and I am to old for the bars. Well hunny listen here, 1. None of us are to old for a St. Patricks Day Cocktail 2. Green is a fabulous color and 3. If you use the bullsh*t excuse that you can’t find a babysitter, you obviously weren’t trying hard enough.
I went to my favorite busy gal on the go (quote from Girls will be Girls starring the Fabulous Evie Harris, Varla Jean Merman and Coco Peru), and found the perfect solution for you. Varla Jean’s Nanny Queen Babysitting Service.
Not only are Nanny Queens semi trained and semi professional, they are also very educational for your kids and will keep them up to date on all quintisential gay icons. Just ask Varla by watching her Commercial for Nanny Queen.
Anyways,this post was meant as a joke and you should never let a homeless person, a stranger or a drug addict in your house or watch your kids. That would be plain stupid. The only thing real in this post is that I am really dying for a cocktail and am debating heading out to the bar for a quick St. Partrick’s Day cocktail. Not that green beer crap but a diet drink for a skinny girl or a Raspberry Vodka and Club Soda or a Michelob Ultra or a Vodka Diet. The other drink I love but is hard to find is a vanilla vodka or regular vodka with a Diet Jones or Calorie Free Jones Soda or Calorie Free Jones Cream Soda.
Jones Soda makes a ton of really good calorie free sodas and if they have them at the store when I go, I usually buy them instead of the major brands we all know. That also isn’t a lie. I actually love and prefer the calorie free Jones Sodas to other leading brands and if they don’t have that then it is back to other Diet sodas.
Anyways, enjoy the Varla Jean Merman Nanny Queen Commercial and don’t follow any of the advice in this post. Happy St. Patricks Day.