I was seeing this guy and we ended up going to the actual step of real dating. We had also ended up starting to sleep with each other because we did become close and felt like it was moving forward nicely. We both liked each other a lot and we both felt really comfortable around each other. He is an awesome guy and he even came over without even knowing me to take care of me when I had the flu the other week. So why am I referring to him in the past tense? I ended up dumping him, we am breaking it off tomorrow when we are supposed to hang out again for another date. Here’s why.
The other night we were having sex and it was bugging me that I saw him on Manhunt. It shouldn’t have, because I was on there too, but it did make me want to ask how many people he had slept with since we met, especially because the two of us were getting serious. I thought the question was inappropriate when I thought of it, I knew he would as well, and because we were having sex it was probably the worst time to ask. Unfortunately I decided to ask anyways.
He responded by saying that is inappropriate and I shouldn’t be asking him that. Then I realized something after he said that. We finished having sex, took a shower and I decided it was over. Instead of our normal cuddling on the couch, I hurried him out and he looked confused as to why I was rushing him out. The thing is that when you are in a relationship or even dating someone, but you actually move it forward to where you are going out to meet each other’s friends, I think you have a right to know how many other people the person is sleeping with.
When you have sex with someone, you put yourself at risk. When you are getting close to becoming a couple, you need to be able to ask and know things about each other. Because he said he wouldn’t answer and that the question was inappropriate, I knew he was sleeping with other people which didn’t bug me. It’s the fact that he wouldn’t answer that made me dump him. Neither of us reached a point where we were ready to go monogamous so we are free to sleep with whoever and both of us have gone on other dates. However we were starting to move towards monogamy and I wanted to know how many other people there were or how many he has hooked up with. If he cannot answer that, then he is either not ready for a relationship or you can expect him to keep secrets from you.
I like honesty in a relationship and if someone can’t answer something that simple before you are in one, it isn’t going to be a good fit. I guess I am finally growing up. The sex is fun, he is an awesome guy, but if he won’t open up or be honest, it’ll never work. That is why I am breaking it off with him. It’s kind of funny how an inappropriate question can actually be a completely appropriate question and if the person won’t answer, then they are more than likely the type of person who will hide things from you and lie. That isn’t the type of person you should want in your life so if you want to know an answer to a question and he won’t answer, let him go. It’s not worth putting yourself through that, worrying, wondering and knowing he’s lying to you. You’ll eventually meet someone better who won’t do it and won’t be afraid to admit how many people they have been sleeping with, etc…