I’ve jumped back onto the dating bandwagon and it’s freaking expensive! I probably spend $500 to $700 alone on dates, movies and dinners each month trying to find Mr. Right. Anyways, if you can’t tell, I kind of have a dark sense of humor and this list is compiled of things that have happened to me, that I’ve done or a combination of the two and stereotypes which cause gay guys to hate gay dating and why some gay guys hate gay dating websites. Feel free to add your own reasons why you have gay dating or hate gay dating websites or even your own favorite stereotypes to the list in the comments section below.
The top 20 reasons I hate gay dating and gay dating websites.
20. Your unemployed and pick an expensive restaurant expecting me to pay (which I do because I’m dumb and feel bad) and you don’t even give a small good night kiss. If you aren’t going to give a good night kiss, don’t expect someone to pay. I have friends who you will use you as well and I can have them split the bill next time before you have a chance to object. It’s just as easy to say put half on my card please and they won’t think anything of it.
19. Ohh nice, thanks for telling me you’re already seeing someone, but you thought it would be fun to have dinner. i.e. You wasted my time and are already cheating on the guy you’re seeing. You’re a loyal catch that I clearly am happy to avoid. BTW, no, we cannot see each other again.
18. Ohh you’re married…even better, to a woman. You just liked me because it would be discreet…and discrete or how about you learn to spell it and learn to not cheat on your wife.
17. Thank you for showing up. Great to meet you. Now where is the person from the pictures? Ohhh….that is you….20 years ago.
16. If you hate cats, hate dogs or animals, did you not see I have one? The animal isn’t going away, but guess what, you are!
15. That’s great you’re a vegetarian…you should have read in my profile that I love to eat meat. Have fun with your carrot and btw, glaring at me as I order an extra rare steak and moo while I cut it is only going to encourage me more. If you don’t like meat eaters, don’t date them or go to a restaurant that serves steaks!
14. Responding to phone calls and texts. Whether you are interested or not, it is polite to say thank you and at least respond with a friendly message saying you are not interested. It is rude to not respond at all.
13. If your profile says you don’t want anyone with any extra weight, then why are you a fatty when you show up? You may want to update your pictures and realize that you don’t look like your ideal match, and unless you want to use a chubby chaser site and realize you are the one being chased, put a real pic up.
12. If you’re 50 years old and looking for no one over 25, guess what, people grow up. Are you still going to want to be with them when they hit your magic age limit? Don’t use them, make them a house boy and then throw them aside when it’s much harder to start a career. Go to craigslist and find a hooker!
11. I love that you plan on moving to XYZ city in a few months. Why are you trying to find a relationship and wasting my time? Do you honestly think I would move my entire life because you are moving without a job, or plan, or any savings to XYZ city and I will pack up my life too? Find a trick or start meeting people in your new city. We don’t want you anyways.
10. That’s great that Musical Theatre/Cooking/Modern Art/Hiking/Sports/etc… is your passion in life. Mine too. How do you feel about this production with XYZ directing/acting, etc…, what do you do when preparing XYZ dish to make XYZ come out, how did you feel about XUZ exhibit ohh and did you see the catch that XYZ made in the soccer game to score the winning goal…god I love diving? Ummm….ya, try being honest and if you don’t like something, don’t pretend to like it. You are dating and looking for a relationship. Be honest about what you like, don’t know a lot about and what you hate. They’ll find out sooner or later. You can always learn about it later if you end up together and if it bores you, we can have different likes and hobbies to do on our own. That gives you alone time which every couple needs.
9. That’s great you don’t hookup and are looking for a serious relationship. BTW, I loved your torso and ass shot on Grndr, Manhunt and Scruff.
8. Ohh,,,you’re also a top/bottom? Good, we can have three ways since you won’t be flexible and flip every once in a while. Ummm….no thanks. If someone asks, let them know so neither of you waste your time.
7. It’s ok that you’re 20 minutes late…it is gay time of course. Smile and sit down at the table, (i.e. go f*ck yourself, your time is not more important than mine!).
6. Match.com, I love that you let people send an email, or let me send someone an email and then they can’t respond because they aren’t a paying member. That’s a really good way for you to make money, make me hate your service and prevent me from being able to find a partner. Thank you OkCupid.com for allowing unlimited messages. At the same time, Match.com has brought a lot more quality people, with jobs and goals because they do have a fee to be able to meet and connect. The membership fee does serve a purpose.
5. I’m so happy we’re finally boyfriends. I need to send a thank you email or letter to XYZ dating site to say thank you…ohh and btw, it’s nice to see that you asked that I change my relationship settings to “in a relationship” or “seeing someone” and you’re single, active every day and still messaging other people. Thanks for asking me to change and I’m soo happy we have the same definition of closed and monogamous relationship.
4. That was an awesome dinner, let’s a get a drink. Ohhh,,,sure your favorite local gay bar is a much better idea than Coffee or one where you don’t know everyone and we’ll be interrupted every 5 seconds. Yup, no problem, you getting trashed, having a ton of shots and letting your friends interrupt is a great first impression and way to get to know each other.
3. Sure, lets do dinner at my house, I love to cook. Prepping a meal, spending money, time effort, energy…make the tables, set out wine and a cocktail option, get dressed, prepped, ready….guy enters the apartment, starts kissing you, you have sex, he leaves (of course just wanted to hookup)….at least you now have dinner for a couple of friends and got laid…but are still single and wasted all of that time and money. =0)
2. Sure, you can check your phone real quick. I know what it’s like to have a boss that can’t do anything for themselves…too bad I hear Grindr/Scruff/Manhunt, etc… coming through the speakers.
1. You!!! If anyone of this sounds familiar, describes you or what you do then stop dating and go back to being single.
Gay dating should be fun and gay dating websites help you to find people that are possibly looking for a relationship. I have ads on here for the ones I belong to if you think this is funny or I make a good point. Do everyone a favor though, use real pictures, be yourself, don’t pretend to like something because you think the guy does or wants you to and more importantly, don’t use people. If you’re moving, don’t date here, if you don’t have a job and want a free meal, say so and pick somewhere reasonable and one last thing, use manners. Say please and thank you, give a good night hug or kiss and thank the person for their time and more importantly, respond with a polite message if the person texts and you aren’t interested. Feel free to share your favorite gay dating issues, stereotypes or horror stories below.
BTW, if you’re looking for a douche…try these ones…at least your/his ass won’t stink. =0) Sorry, I had to.
|Butt Pirate – A Vanilla Scented Anal Douche – $5.99Sorry to say it, but they finally have a nice option for nasty A**holes after you finish your date…you can now send him a vanilla scented douche. If he was a jerk, he can brush his teeth and clean his mouth while also cleaning out his ass. It’s the perfect way to tell someone they stink and they’re a douche at once.|
|Butt Pirate – A Strawberry Scented Anal Douche – $5.99If Vanilla isn’t your thing, here is a scented enema in strawberry.|