So the other weekend a bunch of us drove up to Baltimore Maryland to get out of Washington DC and have fun for a change…instead of standing around in DC bars or going to the DC clubs where everyone is bitchy and catty and full of themselves…not that there is anything wrong with that as that is also fun. But Baltimore is actually a really good time. You should probably never move or live there, unless you like small towns and not much to do, or don’t mind doing the same things over and over again, however they do have some really cool things for tourists and it is the home of Charm City Cakes from Food Network with Duff and an amazing aquarium and the harbor is really cool with some awesome seafood fresh from the Chesapeak Bay and tons of Maryland Blue Crabs which you can also order fresh online here,I’ve actually had them from this place and they are seriously fresh and good….completely worth the money!
Anyways, most of the gay bars in Baltimore got shut down like the strip club from Pecker or the old dance clubs and bars, however Baltimore still has two major gay bars one is called Grand Central and the other is one of my favorite clubs in the world and is called the Hippo. That is actually saying a lot because I used to dj in college and traveled all over to Ibiza, Turkey, Spain, Canada, all over the USA and was in different nightclubs every weekend and so when I love a club and a bar, that actually does say alot. Sure it isn’t as big as Priveledge in Ibiza or Government in Toronto or even Boots when it was opened, and it isn’t as fancy as Halo or the Delano Hotel in South Beach but it does have things that are pretty uch gone from the rest of the world as far as clubbing and night life go, but we’ll get to that in a minute. Just make sure that if you go to visit Baltimore, you get the number for a cab or a cab driver since they are very hard to find and you really do need to call them.
Soo anyways, the first gay bar in Baltimore Maryland is Grand Central. It is multiple levels and they just opened a new one on the top of the club for dancing. It is more of a bar to go play pool at and sit down for drinks with friends and just not do much besides drink. They also opened it up to straight people but mainly only goths go for straight night and it is still a gay bar so don’t worry about the goths, they’ll be a few there but almost 100% gay still on goth night. The drinks at Grand Central in Baltimore Maryland are dirt cheap and the music is ok. The people are pretty friendly and there is a few things to do in there like pool if you want something to do besides drinking, just make sure you get in line for the bathroom before it is an emergency because the line does form fast and take forever if you need to go. Then when you finish at Grand Central Gay Bar in Baltimore Maryland, right across the street and down on the other side is the Hippo where everyone goes and is one of my favorite gay bars on earth.
Ok, The Hippo Nightclub and Gay Bar in Baltimore Maryland is absolutely one of the best nightclubs in the country. When we were there, there was actually a bachelorette party that flew in all the way from Toronto Canada just to have their bachelorette party at the Hippo and Dance all night long…I’m not going to post the picture with the sticker and name tag they gave me as it was pretty obscene but you can easily find penis stickers and name tags at this store online lol. Sooo anyways, when you go to the Hippo Nightclub in baltimore Maryland you should definitely follow this advice as you don’t want to get stuck in a million lines all night and you want to have a ton of fun.
When you first walk into the Hippo, you can either go to the right and find the bar where you can talk and then walk around that bar and go to the karaoke room or you can go straight and to the left to get to the dance club where the pictures I took below with my iphone were taken where everyone goes to dance. You should definitely go and pay the cover when you first get to the Hippo so that when you want to go dancing later on you won’t have to wait again in the huge line since you’ll already have your stamp. It actually doesn’t hurt to go to the Hippo before Grand Central to get your stamp so you can walk right in after you are done there.
The after you get your stamp, if you need a drink, the bartenders in the bar to the right when you walk in always pour a hell of a lot stronger than the bartenders in the dance club part of the building. The strongest is probably right by the pool tables by the windows and then the karaoke room then dance club. Then, if you like to sing and you like the 90’s head into the karaoke room since nothing has progressed from the 90s in the entire club…you’ll even probably see a couple people in vynil pants but you’ll also get to hear a ton of great 90s songs and even hard house and hard acid trance in the dance club before it gets packed. I love the early music at the Hippo it is seriously amazing depending on who the dj is that night,,,but I have never heard bad music there. Anyways, back in the karaoke room, you’ll hear a ton of people singing 90s songs and completely retro crap and they go crazy when you join in and even sing something new so definitely sign up and have fun with it. The worse you are the better they cheer so don’t even worry if you can’t sing. It is all about having fun and they do an amazing job with having fun at their karaoke nights in Batimore.
Then when you finish with Karaoke, btw you can always skip the lines in the other bars and go to the back bartender in the back corner of the karaoke room since noone ever goes there for drinks when the bar gets full so you don’t have to wait in line for drinks…but I didn’t tell you that lol. Anyways, when you finish karaoke, have a couple drinks from the bartenders in the main bar area and then get ready to dance all night long, well until 2 am in the nightclub and be ready to have fun.
Go early enough to hear the music if you like really good house music because when it gets packed around midnight, they start playing more pop music and less of the old fast hard house and fun euro trance music that I love. The thing that I love most about the music there is the sound system they have.
It is not only perfectly leveled sound and noise wise, but it is amazingly clean and clear. You don’t hear any reverb and the actual speakers are seriously perfect for the noise that comes out of them. They are also just loud enough so you can block out other people but also be able to hear when you are focused on your friends…but if you drank enough to go shake your butt on the floor, or on the stages and speakers,,,,chances are you couldn’t hear anyone talking anyways.
Ok, so here is the thing…if you have ever seen any John Waters Movies,,,especially the recent ones like A Dirty Shame, Pecker, etc… then you will love Baltimore because Baltimore is actually exactly like his films…even Cry Baby and Hair Spray (The Original One). People actually look, dress and act like that. Not everyone but there is a huge population there that fit his movies amazingly well and it is fabulous. Because they just do and dress and act exactly how they want to act, they actually have more fun and just don’t care what you look like or act like or what you are wearing. As long as you are having fun and can have fun with people who still wear vynil and get dolled up to go dancing in a gay bar, then you will fit in perfectly….btw, you can still wear whatever you want and noone will care and that is what I love most about Baltimore…I can wear whatever designers I want or I can wear a tshirt and still fit in and have an amazing time without anyone staring or caring what I am doing or how I am dressed or how I dance….they love it all and they love everyone in Baltimore so just go and have fun and you will have fun and everyone will join in. It seriously is one of the most friendly cities and clubs on earth as well. Just be careful because they do have nitrogen coolers and fog machines on the dancefloor so keep your balance if you are wearing high heels or any shoes that are hard to walk in because when they go off it is almost impossible to see.
The other thing I love at the Hippo in Baltimore is the lighting they have on the dancefloor. They seriously went overboard with their lighting but because they have a LJ there to control the lights all night it actually has one of the best light shows for an American Nightclub left in the USA. You’ll see when you get there how well they did with their lighting and you will love all of the effects and designs and lights they have there when you are dancing.
So anyways, when you are going to Baltimore wear shoes you can walk in or balance in, buy glow sticks and glow toys before you go out and make sure you are read to have an amazing time and dance all night log and then head over to the diner down the street afterwards for an awesome crab cake or steak and cheese sandwhich.
Baltimore is an amazing city to visit and I love going there to get away from the big cities and know that if you want to go have a good time around a ton of fun people who don’t care about anything, then Baltimore Maryland is the perfect place for you to go.