The GayWeddingGear.com Blog

May 9, 2012

My Reaction to NC and Banning Gay Marriage & What is Marriage

Yesterday North Carolina banned gay marriage and amended their constitution. It was not only sad that they did this, but what was even more sad was that it was such a small part of the state that turned out to vote. I kept wondering what would happen if the entire state showed up. there is a good chance that the amendment would have still passed, but by how far. After the vote passed to amend the constitution, Obama decided to come out and say that he now supports gay marriage. I think it’s great that he now supports gay marriage, but something really bugs me about what he said.

Some of my friends are against gay marriage, even though I’m gay and they are my friends. That doesn’t stop us from being friends, but it does make me sad to think that they wouldn’t show up to my wedding if I called it a marriage. They do however support the word civil union instead of gay marriage and they would show up to my wedding if I called it a union. The reason they have an issue with it is that they are religious, but more importantly they feel that there is a long standing tradition and meaning, both religious and socially, behind the word marriage. That is where I have the problem.

When people are saying that marriage is a religious term or has a lot of tradition and meaning, they are forgetting that gays feel the same way. There are tons of gay who are religious and are good Christians, Jews and other faiths. They go to church every week, they celebrate the holidays in a traditional manner like Yom Kippur or Christmas and they are very devout to their beliefs. When you say the word marriage to these people, they have the same emotional attachment to the word or term that the people who are opposed to marriage have. Why should it be any different?

If gay people go to church, worship the same God and are just as good of followers as their heterosexual counterparts, why shouldn’t they get to feel the same meaning and emotion behind the word marriage. When my friends asked why I wouldn’t be ok with the term civil union, I asked them why we can’t call their marriage a civil union. They instantly said that it’s because it is a religious thing. Guess what, I’m Jewish and very proud to be a Jew. I too feel meaning behind the word marriage and I think that I am good enough to have that word describe a relationship where I am monogamous and loyal to my partner when I find the right person, just like you feel like you have the right to have the same feelings about that word.

Civil unions are about equal rights and I support them because that is one of the most important things. Marriage is something that carries tradition and emotion and that is why I love the word. Although I would be happy to have equal rights, I am very happy that I get to also enjoy the word marriage because I live in Washington DC where gay marriage is legal. One thing I wish politicians and people would think about is that marriage doesn’t just mean something to straight people, but it also means the same to gay people. Ask a straight person why we can’t change their marriage to a union and then ask again why a gay person who has the same religious beliefs as them should have to settle for it.

It is very sad what happened in North Carolina yesterday, but at least it may help other states to get gay voters and people who support equal rights to come out and vote in their states to help protect gay couples and gay marriage. Luckily for gay couples in North Carolina, Washington DC is only 1 state away and they are always welcome to come here. It is also great to see that Obama finally came out and said that he now supports gay marriage.

On a different note, I just saw these images on Facebook. I don’t know where they came from so if it is yours let me know and I’ll post a link to give you credit for it.

NC gay marriage legal

gays and reproduction

North Carolina funny wedding card

hillary clinton quote on gay people

Newt Gingrich on Obamas Gay Marriage

infographic on NC amendment voters and college degrees

Comments (0)

June 15, 2011

I Don’t Understand Why Everyone Is Obsessed With Finding Love

Filed under: gay dating — Tags: gay dating, Gay Marriage, is gay marriage right for everyone — rollerbladerdc @ 12:32 am

Is Gay Marriage Right For Everyone

I know this is a gay wedding site and a gay wedding blog, but I also want to talk about something that is sort of on my mind. Maybe it’s because my friends and I, well just my friends, are getting older that they are all wanting to fall in love and get married. Many of them are trying everything they can to get a boyfriend, or they aren’t really trying but they are constantly saying that they wish they could meet the right person and fall in love then get married. The thing that I don’t believe in is that you have to go searching for love, instead I think that love should find you.

Dating sites seem to work and people get married by using them all the time. Sometimes people meet at singles parties and other times they hookup online and end up falling in love. The thing is that you can be proactive, but if you are desperate for love, you may either end up setting for less than you are worth or ending up setting your standards way to high. In either case the desperation makes your judgment wrong and you could end up with a horrible partner, or you may miss out on a great girl or guy. I think my favorite quote was something that I said to one of my friends who was complaining about being single, “I would rather die without a husband by my side knowing that I had friends while I lived than have a husband who I was only content with in marriage with sitting with me.” The thing is that even if I never get married, I have my friends and they are like my family. When I am down they are there. When I need someone to talk to, I have them and when I am lonely, I know I can always drop by…sometimes I have to bring a bottle of wine to get in lol. The point is that for me it is about having people that love me and that I love in my life.

Not everyone wants to get married or needs to get married to feel complete. If you do want to get married and it is your goal to fall in love, then that is great and I support that, just remember that marriage isn’t for everyone and not all of us are looking for it. I personally believe that love will find you, but you can be proactive and be on dating sites, etc… Just remember to not be too picky and don’t lower your standards to much just so that you can get married. Anyways, I just wanted to vent and rant for a bit because it seems like everyone of my friends is looking for marriage and all of them are pushing me to do the same. Feel free to leave a comment below if you have a thought or opinion and if you are looking for love, here is a post with a ton of gay dating sites that you can try for free.

Comments (0)

April 23, 2010

Why gays should not be allowed to get married

Filed under: Gay Marriage — Tags: Gay Marriage, gay rights, reasons gays should not get married — rollerbladerdc @ 2:48 am

Like my friend Greg said on Facebook earlier…an old one but a good. This guy sums up why gay people should not be able to get married or be able to have any rights. No need to comment but feel free to retweet by clicking on the green retweet button to all of your twitter followers. Thanks.

Comments (0)

March 7, 2010

Doing the ring thing in DC

Filed under: Gay Marriage — Tags: Gay Marriage, marriage licenses, washington dc — rollerbladerdc @ 12:08 am

So it was no surprise when we reported that gay Marriage and Gay Weddings were made legal here in the District of Columbia. Washington DC has almost always been a pretty liberal and progressive region of the United States. You get a ton of people moving here because of beliefs or ideas and those are usually pretty emotional and strong willed people and most of the time are opposed to something like fur, war, oppression, etc… so when you get a huge group of them together and they are mostly liberal. Then they all decide to actually move here and stay here, well not all but some of them are able to make it here, it isn’t actually a wonder that Gay Marriage was passed here in Washington, DC, it is more shocking that it took that long to pass gay marriage.

So anyways, even though I am not going to go on and on about gay Marriage being legal now in DC, mainly because I don’t think it is anything that is newsworthy since it was completely expected, I did want to congratulate all of the couples that were able to get their marriage licenses from the court house in downtown DC this past week and wish them all a fruitful and happy life.

For those of you wondering, Gay Marriage isn’t about being called marriage or married or even god or ruining religion for you, it is actually about protection and equal rights to health insurance, life insurance, death rights, parenting rights, social benefits, tax benefits, being recognized as a couple, hospital visitation rights, etc… Sure there is a ton of discrimination left in this world, but getting the right to marry and having the licenses actually handed out is a huge step forward.

Comments (0)

December 19, 2009

Gay Marriage is Now Legal In Washington DC, or at least everyone is saying it is.

Filed under: Gay Marriage — Tags: Gay Marriage, gay marriage washington dc, where can gays get married — rollerbladerdc @ 11:37 pm

I was at a party last night and some of my friends there started to make a toast. The entire room got quiet and they announced that the mayor of Washington DC or some lawmaker signed a bill into action yesterday that would legalize gay marriage in Washington DC.

Now, I don’t know if it is true or not that Gay Marriage is now legal in Washington DC, but it isn’t really surprising that gay marriage would pass in Washington DC because of how liberal it is as a city and that it is probably one of the largest gay cities or has one of the largest gay populations in the US. Not to mention that most of the politicians for VA, MD and DC are always in the Pride Parades, visit the gay bars during election time and also support the gay community, both Republican and Democrat so when it is time to vote on gay marriage or not, chances are they will all say yes and the population of Washington DC will more than likely also vote yes for gay marriage.

It would be pretty cool to see the first gay wedding on the white house, or in front of the monuments or even on Captiol Hill and actually have it be a legally recognized marriage. Gays get married all the time in Washignton DC and if the rumor that it is now legal is true, it would be a great way to attract more tourists and even more gay couples, especially since DC is an extremely gay friendly city and has a ton of amazing places for weddings.

You wouldn’t think about it normally as a wedding destination, but think about what we have that most other cities don’t.

We have tons of museums like the Smithsonians, we have some of the most recognizable landmarks in the world like the memorials and monuments, we have stadiums and professional sports teams, we also have some amazing restaurants on the water front and even the Kennedy Center and historical theatres like Fords Theatre where Abraham Lincoln was shot.

There are so many amazing places in Washington DC to get married and have amazing looking wedding pictures with historic buildings behind you and if the mayor did sign the bill making gay marriage legal in Washington DC, then you should definitely at least consider it for your gay wedding or for your friends who are looking at where to go to get married.

Remember, this is still only a rumor since I have not seen anything to back it up or the actual law itself, but if it is true, I know gay marriage is definitely going to be voted on soon, then that is another great step towards a more equal United States and even more reason for you to come visit Washington DC and also plan to have your wedding in Washington DC. I’ll definitely keep you all updated if I hear any more on whether or not Gay Marriage is now Legal in Washington DC.

Comments (2)

November 27, 2009

Do Jews allow gays to get married? Is Gay Marriage ok for Jews?

Filed under: Gay Marriage — Tags: can jews get married, Gay Marriage, judiasm — rollerbladerdc @ 10:50 pm

The Jewish religion allows gay marriage for gay men only. It doesn’t matter what Rabbi or Synagogue you go to, they will all agree on one thing, they cannot legitimately marry two women. Seriously, no self respecting Rabbi can support the eating of unkosher foods and as we all know, shellfish falls into that category….j/k. Sorry I had to do that, I thought of that while I was writing this entry.

Gay Marriage is actually ok for just about every religion, however within the Jewish Community and in Judiasm, it is actually a lot more gay friendly than most other religions. I have read through the torah numerous times and talked to tons of Rabbis and the one thing they all have in common is that none of them have a problem with gays or marrying gays and if you do find a Rabbi that will not marry gay people, then it is because that Rabbi just doesn’t like gay people.

Every Rabbi I spoke to from Reformed to Conservative and even the Orthadox Rabbis all agreed that even if they don’t approve of gay people, they are happy to marry them since there is nothing in the Torah or Jewish teachings that actually say being gay is bad or against god.

Although I am still not a fan of having to be religious, it was really cool to find out that a major and very ancient religion can actually be open minded and actually doesn’t add random things in later on to keep up with social issues and trends and actually doesn’t discriminate…now, there are plenty of things I don’t agree with with every religion, but I do give the Jews credit for one thing that you won’t find with many other religions that changed in modern times, they never banned or preteneded that being gay was evil and I am happy to say that the Jews love the gays and we should love them back.

If you are a Jew or your partner is, good news, you probably will not be going to hell if you get married since there is nothing in the Jewish religion that says gay people cannot get married.

Comments (0)

November 21, 2009

Texas Banned All Mariage – Why not make divorce illegal too?

Filed under: Gay Marriage — Tags: Gay Marriage, texas bans all marriage — rollerbladerdc @ 12:57 pm

So this week Texas actually banned marriage. Not gay marriage, not straight marriage, all marriage together. You might think this is crazy but it actually happened. Someone told me this last night when I was out with my friends and I just started to laugh but didn’t believe it until I did a search and found it on a million different sites including cbs, the week and some others.

So here is what happened. In 2005 there was a vote and a law passed to try to ban and abolish gay marriage in Texas. No surprise there. Texas is one of the most conservative states in the US. The issue is that they also ended up including this sentence in their clause or in the bill or law “”This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.”

So what ended up happening is that Democratic Texas Attorney General candidate Barbara Ann Radnofsky found this clause and decided to use it to get some political ground for her running for the Texas Attorney General campaign. Not only is that a briliant move on her part because she now can get liberal and democratic voters, even a bunch of Republicans to now get to the polls and more importantly start to actually read and understand what they are voting for and not just listening to this will do this, but actually read through it and pass laws more carefully. You always hear people bitching about politicians not listening to them and passing unfair laws that they don’t like, but in reality if you look at it, we are the people that vote them into office and if we don’t like what they do, we have the choice to not vote for them again. You cannot always vote because you recgnize the name of the person or because you read a part of the law that you agree with. You need to vote based on the laws they voted for in the past and actually read the entire bill before you pass or decline it or things like accidently banning marriage in texas happen more and more often.

So something else that I thought was funny was that someone at the bar last night also said, why not just ban divorce since the Texans and a ton of the conservatives are saying that gay marriage ruins the sanctity of straight marriage and the term. That is actually a seriously stupid idea.

If we banned divorce, what would I have to read about in the papers? No more Brad and Angelina vs. Jennifer Aniston, no more Britney Spears white trash weddings and worse break ups and even worse, do you know how many murders there would be from the gold diggers who marry them old if they don’t die and are waiting to get divorced to collect a large divorce settlement. I mean seriously, half the married couples would probably kill each other if they didn’t have an escape clause and tabloids would go out of business. Not to mention that STD rates and adultry or cheating husbands and wives would probably increase since they would be stuck with the same person for years. It’s kind of like in England years ago when Kings had their Wives dissapear because they couldn’t actually get divorced or give them a son. It’s a scary thought so I am actually opposed to banning Divorce but do this it is funny that Texas banned all marriage.

Anyways, just wanted to give you all my thoughts on this and think it is absolutely hillarious.

Comments (2)

November 5, 2009

Well, we lost Maine, but what can you do to protect gay marriage for the future?

Filed under: Gay Marriage — Tags: Gay Marriage, gay rights, Maine — rollerbladerdc @ 2:12 am

So last night we ended up loosing out on Maine. I was stuck traveling and with a huge delay so I wasn’t able to find out until my straight friend who lives in Portland Maine called me pissed off and furious. Now, regardless if you are conservative or liberal, for gay or straight rights or even just don’t care, what happened in Maine is not acceptable. Let me go over a few things from all ends.

1. The equality groups in Maine allegidly and apparently did not spend their budgets fighting for gay marriage in Maine. It’ll be interesting to see where their money is, was spent and who gets bonuses this year. They probably did fight for it but gave up when the anti gay groups came in and flooded the tv and media with anti gay commercials, etc…

2. When you have a huge group come in and run commercials to stop you from getting your law passed or running smear campaigns you fight them off. My friend said they were running tv ads saying if you pass gay marriage the schools will have to teach about gay sex to your kids. That is not true, they will teach safe sex, just like they are right now. Classes will not have to change and your kids won’t have to see gay sex. Then again, if you don’t want them exposed to sex, you shouldn’t be sending them to school anyways since they do teach sex in the schools. The gay group should have ran tv ads combating this, but apparently they didn’t, they sat back and watched as gay people lost the right to marry in Maine.

3. Most people don’t realize or didn’t realize that gays could get married in Maine since the gay groups and the HRC (who I hate and think should be closed down) never promote or make a media whirlwind about Maine. Maine is gorgeous and has amazing places and beaches and foods and venues to get married at. Maine should have ran commercials nationally and gotten a lot more coverage from the media to get married there. This would not only have helped to increase the money coming into Maine, but it would have also helped create jobs in food service, hotel and other jobs for the people of Maine. Then when it came time to vote on revoking the right for gays to get married in Maine, noone who was now employed and all the people who were making money and if the gay groups would have talked about how gay marriage was helping the economy in Maine, we probably wouldn’t have lost the right to marry in Maine.

Anyways, I can go on and on about what I think went wrong, but what we need to do is protect Iowa and other states that allow gay marriage and help everyone who lives there remember that gay marriage will not destroy their homes, it will help better them and help their ecomony. When the smear campaigns start, start running your own. If you sit back and do nothing and don’t make it a priority to fight, then guess what, gays will loose their right to equal rights and to marry and we will be back to not having equal rights. I don’t know if they stood back or if the HRC or anyone donated money, but from what I heard from my friends in Maine, apparently the gay groups didn’t do much and just sat back hoping for the best. If your state may pass gay marriage or may be voting on getting rid of it, you cannot site back and hope for the best, you need to take action and fight for gay marriage. Don’t let Maine happen to your state. Raise money and fight the groups that fight you. Gay Marriage is about equal rights, not about the word or God. Lets get Maine to allow gays to marry again and lets fight these groups that fight us.

Comments (0)