So yesterday was a historic day for gay rights activists here in Washington DC and across the country. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was officially repealed in the house and senate. Now as long as Obama, don’t get me started, actually follows through with something we’ll officially be able to let people who want to protect our Country protect our Country without the fear of being thrown out of the military.
Gay and Lesbian military people will be able to keep their benefits if they are out of the closet and they can openly fight in the military. They no longer have to lie to protect our Country or put their lives on the line for our freedom. Yesterday was a huge day for all gay military officials and for America for gay rights. The one person who did get a bad rap that I would like to clear the air for is John McCain.
Although I am completely pissed off about what he said and what he did, someone had to. The reality of politics is that someone has to play the bad guy whether or not they want to. John McCain does not believe the things he said and does not stand for them. I ran into some of the lobbyists who are friends with the McCains and they said he was upset and did not believe in what he was saying. Sometimes to get something passed and pushed through a Politician has to give a speech they don’t want to and don’t believe in. It does end up keeping order. The industry I am in had a similar thing happen with a Colorado tax law. Someone had to come to the government’s defense and make a speech they didn’t want to and did not believe in. Although I absolutely look down upon people like Palin, the McCains are not enemies of the gays. Their daughter has many gay friends here in DC and John is not anti gay. He just had to come out and give a very hard speech in order to help get Don’t ask don’t tell repealed. You may not have liked hearing what he had to say, I didn’t, but if he didn’t do it then Don’t ask don’t tell wouldn’t have been repealed. That is the unfortunate behind the scenes of how the Government works.
Last night the military took the bars by storm celebrating their freedom. It was about time that the people who fight for our freedom got to enjoy their own freedom to be who they are last night. They came to Nellies for military only drink specials. Gay and straight military came to town to show their support of the repeal of Don’t ask don’t tell and gay military couples celebrated the fact that they no longer have to worry about being thrown out of the military and losing their benefits for being in love. This video I took at town pretty much sums it up.
If you are gay and you have been involved with the gay community you know that suicide can and does happen. Teens seem to be more impressionable now a days than even back in the 1990′s when I know suicide was a huge deal. Gay teen and Straight teen suicide is nothing new, but the causes of the increase or at least modern gay teen suicide and even some straight teen suicide is what is different. I think one of the main reasons is that back in the 90′s and even back to the 50′s when you were gay or you were outted or you were made fun of, it stayed in school or just in your town and then died. Now when you are being bullied people are using technology to not only send it to your parents with no warning but you are also having it uploaded to the internet and instead of just your local classmates finding out you have the entire world, or what feels like the entire world, coming down on you and finding out you are gay. When you are gay and in the closet, especially when you are a teenager, you are terrified.
You have to worry about your parents kicking you out of the house for it (not every city has shelters or housing programs for gay teenagers that come out and get thrown out of their homes and families or even LGBT community centers), you have to worry about your school mates beating you up because of it, you have to worry about your church or religious building kicking you out or making you evil to their community and members, you have to worry about being thrown off of sports teams and out of hobbies and social groups that you love and most importantly you have to worry about what it means for you and the ones you love.
When you get outted and if your community is not opened to gay people, the local community not only comes down on you as a gay teenager but they also target and sometimes attack your friends, your family, vandalize your home and your car and try to make your life a living hell. It seems like that with technology advancing and the internet being extremely popular, bullying isn’t just in the schools but it everywhere you go.
When someone gets outted it now goes online, into text messages and gets to the person’s parents before the person has the ability to run home before they can help to make the conversation easier since kids can text it to the parents or find them on facebook or send it via email. The stress of coming out is bad enough, but when you have it sent out to everyone everywhere and weren’t ready, and you have people bullying you for being gay, it becomes unbearable. Lately we have been seeing a rise in teen suicides based on outting the person before they were ready to come out and it seems like the issue is getting worse. It isn’t a Republican or Democratic issue, it isn’t a rich vs. poor and it isn’t a white vs. black issue either. It is an education and tolerance issue. So what can you do to help stop teen gay suicide from bullying and outting gay teens and outting gay people? This is actually much easier than you think and one person actually can make a difference in this case.
This is actually much easier than you think and one person actually can make a difference in this case.
1. Be that person’s friend. When you are being bullied for being gay, especially as a teen, what you need is a friend who will not only stand by you but also take you in if your parents throw you out and who will support you. Having even one person to be there for you can stop a suicide. Being bullied is bad enough, being alone with it makes it worse.
2. Set up a local gay community center and local gay teen support group. By doing this, even if you only have yourself and you are not gay, by making it public that there is one and sticking by it, when a gay teen or person is outted they will know there is somewhere to go.
3. Educate your Educators. Teachers, Schools and Coaches are big culprits in this. One of the leading issues is that our Educators can be some of the worst bigots and by them turning their heads when they see bullying for being gay or just bullying in general, they help to encourage suicide and harm. This happens more than you know and even though many play dumb when asked about it, they are a first line of defense against bullying and gay teen suicide. Get everyone from the local PTA to the school board involved and set up a help and prevention system and educate them on gay suicide and teen gay suicide from bullying as well as how to not only prevent it, but make their classrooms and places where they can influence people a thing of education about tolerance and not a place where minorities have to be afraid.
4. Church and Community Thought Leaders. Many churches are the leading cause of hatred against gay people. Sure there are other ones but with the Church against them you have an issue. If your church or local religious group is anti gay, not just anti gay marriage but anti gay, it’s time to speak up and become an influencer in the church. Leaving that church for a gay friendly church is not a solution and helps no one. Stand up and speak out and question them. Talk to the people who run that church and keep fighting until they see that gay people are not evil and stop teaching their members that they should hate people for being gay.
5. Parents, find your local or a local PFLAG group. If you think your kids might be gay, find a local PFLAG group and have them help you through what you may end up having to face. Not only can they give you support but they can also help you prepare for your gay child coming out, help to prevent gay teen suicide and also help to show you how to not only help them, but also help yourself if you live in an area that is not gay friendly.
6. Educate everyone on bullying regardless of gay or straight. Teasing is part of growing up and bullying happens. The issue with it now a days though is that it is taken to a much larger level. Calling someone names does hurt and getting beaten up can hurt just as much. Sometimes it might lead to suicide but when you add in technology and video cameras and people video taping you secretly and then broadcasting their bullying publicly to everyone in the world, that takes bullying to a whole new level. It’s time to start making the schools and the teachers and everyone aware of the serious effects of teenage bullying and technology and not only making the teachers enforce and anti bullying policy but actually help stop it before it stops. Too many parents just leave it alone and think it is part of growing up. Too many teachers worry about being the cool teacher or let their own personal beliefs come before a child’s safety. It is time to start getting rid of those teachers and making the schools a safer place.
People are going to be bullies and kids are always going to get teased, the difference is that it shouldn’t be based on if they are gay or not or if they are black or white or latino, it should be about something that doesn’t actually matter if it happens (I am not endorsing it at all and am 100% opposed to bullying, the truth is that it is going to happen regardless, we should be educating to make it about less severe things like picking your nose instead of having parents that are of different races). Many celebrities and gay activists are now getting involved.
In the video clip above I showed Fox News (Generally right wing and not always gay friendly supporting the end of gay bullying, except for the one lady who I personally now cannot stand), you have Ellen doing a small segment (also shown above) and Kathy Griffin is doing an interview shortly on I think Larry King or another major show about gay teen suicide and gay teen bullying. Education is only a part of how to fix this problem, providing support groups and places for gay teens is the next. By helping to create these and make them publicly known to everyone, you may be able to help save the life of a gay teen or gay teen that is being bullied in your area.
If you found this helpful and want to share how I think we can help to end or at least help to lessen gay teen suicide and gay teen bullying, please share this post with your friends on facebook and click the green tweet or retweet button on the top of the post to share it on Twitter. Gay teen suicide is a very large problem and there are ways to help prevent it. You may not be able to stop all of them, but even one life saved it a huge step forward. These methods are not proven and are just my opinions, but I really think that they can help to lessen the issues and make life easier for gay teens who are thinking about suicide and who are being bullied or threatened and help to try and stop gay teen suicide and gay teen bullying.