The GayWeddingGear.com Blog

September 17, 2011

How do you know if you should break up with him?

Filed under: gay dating,MyPartner.com — Tags: , , — rollerbladerdc @ 1:38 pm

I’ve been having a few issues in my relationship lately. I just really feel alone all the time. Relationships, especially new ones are supposed to be exciting, make you feel full and in love. When they don’t then there is something wrong. You may feel like you are in love, and it hurts to think about not being with the other person, but if they aren’t giving off of the same amount of love or if you can’t feel it from them, then there is a serious disconnect. You could both be in love with each other, but if one of you isn’t ready for the relationship, the other person could be hurting and you wouldn’t even know about it. Here are a few things to think about if you are in a relationship and feeling alone. If you feel any of these things, then you may need to think about if it is the right time to be with that person.


When you get together, what is the greeting he gives you? Do you get a friendly kiss or an I’m in love with you kiss? Are his eyes closed or opened? Does he smile or show emotion? Does he give you a kiss like a friend and what is the hug like? These are all questions you need to ask yourself when you see each other. You also need to think about the way you greet him when you see him.

What does he do when you are visiting him? If you haven’t seen him for a few days or a week, does he cuddle with you or sit with you? Does he hold your hand or put his arm around you? If you are watching tv, is he watching with you or playing on his computer? Does he stay in the same room with you? Does he play with something or look through a collection or pay attention to other things?

Before bed and in the morning, what does he do? If he has a pet, does he give the pet more attention than you? Does the dog or cat get a bigger hug, told they are loved and a huge kiss? What do you get compared to it? In the morning, are you greeted with at least the same type of hug or attention as the dog or cat? How does he say good morning and good night to you? If he hugs the dog when getting out of bed, does he also give you a hug or a small kiss?

What does he do in bed? Does he cuddle with you and if he does for how long? If he used to cuddle with you, does he still? Is he near you in bed or does he stay against the very edge? If you try to cuddle, does he let you for a bit or does he constantly pull away? If he pulls away, is it every night or just every once in a while?

Does he have sex with you? Does he let you have sex with him when you want to? Does he push for sex with you? Does he treat sex like its a chore or something he has to do or is it something he is enjoying? Does he seem like he wants sex with you? Does he enjoy it and want to shower with you, hold you, or give you attention after?

New relationships are supposed to be exciting and you are supposed to be in love. You need to ask yourself all of these questions. You also need to think about if he is ready for a relationship. Sometimes he may be in love with you, but he isn’t ready to be in a relationship. Just because he isn’t ready for a relationship now, that doesn’t mean you he won’t be ready later on. If you are always feeling alone because your partner isn’t ready, there is no point in making yourself miserable. Being miserable, but in love, isn’t a good type of love at all. It is hard to break up with someone, but sometimes you have to because its the right thing to do for yourself. It doesn’t mean you don’t love the person, it just means you have to make sure that you are also ok and that you are doing what is right for you. When the person is finally ready to be in love with you, or to be in a relationship with you, you may still be available and then you can start again and get married. Until then you should enjoy life and never feel alone, especially if you are in a relationship with someone you love.

August 8, 2011

3 signs he’s not ready for relationships because he married his career

Filed under: gay dating,MyPartner.com — Tags: , , — rollerbladerdc @ 10:31 pm

If you’ve been dating and it seems like you’re not having luck with getting someone to be ready for a monogamous relationship, you may not be the problem.  The problem may be that you aren’t paying attention to the signs that the other person is giving off.  the other person may think they want to find love and be in a relationship, but the reality is that they may not be.  One of the leading signs that the person isn’t ready for a real relationship or love is if they are work obsessed.  Sometimes the only true love a person has is their job and work.  It doesn’t mean the person doesn’t like you or think you’re attractive, it just means their real priorities are with their career now and not in finding love.  If this is the person you are dating, then maybe you need to look somewhere else, unless you always want to be second place.  Here are three signs that the person is not ready for a relationship because he is already in one with his career.

Cell phones at the table.

If you are on a date and he brings his phone and answers it on your date, he is not only being rude to you, but he is also showing that his job and work is more important.  If he was really ready to date and find love, he would make it so that he could have 1 or 2 hours without his phone.  Everyone can do it from Fortune 500 executives to real estate agents.  It doesn’t matter if they are important or an assistant, they need to put down the phone and get to know you.  If they can’t do that during a dinner then they cannot commit to you because they are committed to their phone and their work.

Canceling dates regularly.

It’s understandable to have to cancel a date if something comes up.  It happens where you need to work on a project late or you have to do something.  The problem is if there is always something coming up and your dates are always getting canceled.  Not only is it rude to do to you because it stops you from being able to have your own life, but it also messes up your schedule.  If he always has things coming up, then you need to make sure the next thing that comes up is a finger saying goodbye.

Showing up late.

This is absolutely unacceptable.  Everyone can make sure they have enough time to make it to a date.  Sure you can get stuck in traffic or get lost finding the place, but if you are always late because you had to finish something at the office, you are a little late to be able to date.  Think about it this way, if he is always late when you are just dating, what’s it going to be like when you are in a committed relationship or married?  You plan special nights and anniversaries and he is always late.  You plan a surprise for him but he doesn’t make it home on time.  If he is always late when you are dating then you are setting yourself up for him always being late if your dating turns into something more long term.

One of the biggest problems with dating someone that is married to their career is that you will always be second.  Even if he is cute, well off and you are in love with him, think about your future.  Do you really want to be second to his career?  Do you want to wait at home alone at night while he’s late and do you want him to be working while you were supposed to be spending quality time.  If you want love and you want a husband and not someone who you love but are always second to a career to, then look for these three things.  If he is doing them then he is already married and guess what, it isn’t to you.

August 2, 2011

5 things to do to ensure you won’t get a second date

Filed under: gay dating,MyPartner.com — Tags: , , — rollerbladerdc @ 12:39 am

So I’ve been on a string of really bad dates lately. The thing is that they always start out amazing and then either I say something stupid because I’m nervous or the other person does something dumb. The reality is that there are certain things you just shouldn’t do on dates, especially a first, second or third date and there are definitely things you shouldn’t say. Because of all of the stupid things I’ve said, other guys have said and the things that will definitely not get you a second date,,,unless the person is an idiot, here are my big 5 no nos for first, second and third dates.

1. Do not bring your friends.

You may feel like your friends are your support group and that they help you feel more confident. That’s because that is what friends are there for. The reality is that you are on a date and your goal is to try to get to know the person. If you surround them with your friends you will not only not get to know the person, but they will feel like a third wheel no matter how much fun your friends are. You also run the risk of them becoming a friend instead of a potential mate. You may want your friends there because you are nervous, but the nervous feeling is because you are meeting someone new and someone that you may end up falling in love with. Save the friends until you have been on multiple dates and you think the dating could turn into something.

2. Your my second choice, I found the other person more attractive.

This is one that i saw on The Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo multiple times. The millionaire picks one person and tells that person that they were more attracted to the other person but Patty recommended someone like them instead because the other person would be better for them. Don’t ever put your date down like that! If you aren’t that interested and not thinking about them sexually, long term and about marriage then why are you bothering with them? Seriously, if you are thinking about sex first and marriage isn’t crossing your mind, that isn’t the right person for you. You have to have a spark and if someone else is sparking you but your dating someone because they are the right type then you are wasting your time and their time. Instead of insulting the person just let the date end friendly and then don’t go on a second. You don’t have to be rude and you don’t have to put people down. Unless the person is into being abused you will also lose any chance of a second date.

3. Talking about your ex, excessively.

You have to remember that your Ex is your Ex for a reason. It didn’t work. If you’re on a date it is because you are supposed to be moving on. If all you do is talk about your ex you are not only going to bore the shit out of your date, but you will guarantee that you won’t get another one or that it won’t last. You are basically saying you are still in love with you ex and that you are not ready to move on. If the date is serious about dating and doesn’t just want to sleep with you then you have now lost that person probably for good. If your date asks about your ex, make sure your answer is short, simple and somewhat funny if it is a negative comment. Try to say something positive but also that doesn’t go on and on or make it sound like you are still in love.

4. Do not over drink. Keep a 2 or 3 drink minimum.

I love to drink and I know most other singles who meet at bars or dinners love wine with their dinner during a date. The thing you have to remember is that you don’t want to look like an alcoholic and you want your mind and focus clear and coherent. You are dating because you want to really meet someone and fall in love. If you are drunk you won’t take in every signal if the person likes you or not and you may not get to really see the person for who he or she is. It is very important to not over drink and to limit yourself on the first few dates. Get to know the person before you go on a binger where you get trashed. Getting to know the person first is extremely important and something that will help you know if you should have a second date or not.

5. Don’t sleep with the person.

Ok, this is questionable. I like to know what I’m getting in to and what the other person has. At the same time sex can ruin the chances at falling in love and making it special. I have plenty of friends who have gotten married and slept together on the first date but at the same time I’ve also seen them get divorced and also have to open their relationship to keep it interesting. Although you want to sleep with the person on the first date, hold off until you get to know the person and you are in a committed monogamous relationship. Wanting to sleep with the person means you are attracted to them and you have a connection. If you can hold off you’ll have something to look forward to.

I know this list may not be the most fun, especially 4 and 5, but they could help you to figure out if the person is the right one for you. With 1 through 3, make sure you don’t screw your date up with them. Be polite if you aren’t into the person and then just don’t go on a second date. If you are really bored and you are trying to force a conversation, it isn’t rude to just say it isn’t working, offer to pay and actually try to pay and break the date early. Both of you will thank each other and not feel awkward, just don’t be rude and put the other person down. Getting a second date is easy, but if you don’t have the connection with the person where you are falling in love then it probably isn’t worth a second date. finding love isn’t tricky, finding the right person to love is. Don’t screw it up if you find the person and don’t force yourself to date someone if they are obviously wrong.

March 30, 2011

Five Ways To Tell If The Guy Isn’t Right For You

Filed under: gay dating,MyPartner.com — Tags: , , — rollerbladerdc @ 9:05 am

I just got a text message from someone I apparently had a date with on Saturday.  The text message was one that said it’s all my fault that I stood him up and he had to cancel plans, he didn’t go to a party, etc… because of me.  Yes it sucks that I forgot about our date, to be honest I don’t remember ever planning anything with him but he apparently did, so when I got the text that I forgot about him I sort of felt bad.  Then I realized that it is already over 24 hours later.  I thought to myself, why would I feel bad if I missed our date when I didn’t even actually remember that we had one.

It wasn’t on my schedule, wasn’t in my iPhone or on my calendar.  The other thing is that he could have easily texted me to ask what time we were getting together, what I wanted to do or what he wanted to do and he could have called to verify that we had plans.  Apparently the party he missed was for our first date, again, not my problem, and he was upset about not having plans for yesterday.  He could have easily called to find out if we were still getting together, but instead he waited over 24 hours to contact me and it wasn’t even a call, it was a text message.  I sent a message back saying let me make it up to you, but he responded with another game.

He ended up saying well I don’t know, I feel bad about missing the party, etc… and I told him that it wasn’t my problem.  He was able to call me and see if we had plans.  It is just as much his fault as mine, even though I don’t remember making plans with him.  So I responded back that I don’t play these games and to have a nice life.  I was a little more friendly than that.  The game he was playing is that everything is the other person’s fault.   He didn’t take any responsibility for not calling me to see if we had plans and immediately I am the bad person and should feel sorry for him.  If he would have called then I would have known we had plans and we would have gotten together.  Because he didn’t realize that he was at fault too and blamed everything on me, I ended it right there.  I am finally at a point in my life where fun isn’t enough.  The other person has to be right for me if I am going to bother with actually dating the person.  So here is my top five ways to tell that a guy isn’t the right one for you.

1.  Does the person take responsibility?  I’m the type of person who needs someone who can take care of themselves and have their own minds.  I’m not going to play the blame game and I’m not going to feel bad if something wasn’t my fault.  Sure there may be certain times that I’ll give in, but just like above I am not going to date someone if on the second date they already play the blame game and don’t see that they are at fault.  If the person you are dating is always the one who is the good guy and you are always bad, or they can do no wrong, move on.  You don’t need the drama queen in your life.  They think they are serious about love, but when it comes down to it they are too immature.

2.  The Gold Digger.  I don’t think I need to explain this one.  Gold diggers look for money and material things.  If you want a trophy husband or wife but not love, they are perfect for you.  The only thing you have to remember is that if you lose your money or something happens to your financial situation, they won’t be there for you.

3.  The Faker.  Whenever someone pretends to have the same interests as me on a date, I’ll ask them specifics as well as trick questions about things that I like.  If they answer incorrectly to the trick questions or the real ones, they are out of the running.  The thing is that someone who says things just to keep a conversation going won’t be able to do that forever.  If you get married and don’t actually have anything in common, you may find out that the relationship isn’t that strong because you have nothing to talk about or do.  It is important to not lie about your hobbies or interests.  If you are serious about your relationship you can find hobbies and common interests later.  If you pretend to like something you hate, you could end up in a relationship where you have to do it because you lied about it from the beginning.

4.  The jealous type.  Sometimes a bit of jealousy is a good thing.  The problem with jealousy on the first 5 or ten dates is that the person may be either really obsessive or overly protective.  You also have to realize that if the person is jealous because you are flirting or looking at other people, maybe you aren’t actually interested in that person.  If the person you are dating is the one, you won’t have any desire to look at other people.  If they are already jealous after the first date and cause issues, think about what it will be like 5 years from now.  Jealous people usually mean drama and end up cheating on you often or always accuse you of cheating.  If you are ok with that then go ahead.  Jealousy in the beginning is a definite sign that the person isn’t right for me.

5.  The obsessive person.  Being obsessive is a bit immature.  I’ve been on a couple dates where if someone else hits on me at the bar, or hits on them, the person flips out or makes a scene saying that they are with someone.  Making a scene means the person needs to grow up.  They will probably end up causing a fight at some point and imagine what would happen if you ever took them to a work event.  You could lose your job.  The obsessive person is also the one who texts you twenty times a day and also calls more than once.  It gets a bit scary.  There is a difference between being excited about meeting someone and being obsessed.  Obsession is more of a crush than true love.  If the person is obsessive over your and extremely jealous, think about how they will effect your future and if you really want all of that drama.

Anyways, those are 5 of the things I think about when realizing why my past relationships didn’t work out.  There are a ton of other things to think about, but it’s also time for bed.  Please feel free to share your own things to watch out for by leaving a comment below.

January 30, 2011

Have You Ever Wondered Why You’re Single. Try Honesty!

Filed under: gay dating,Gay Marriage,MyPartner.com — rollerbladerdc @ 11:43 pm

Valentine’s day is coming up soon and everyone is starting to go crazy trying to find a date.  Lots of people are questioning why they are single and not everyone really realizes why they are alone.  The truth is that sometimes you need to sit back and really be honest with yourself.  Maybe you are not perfect and maybe there are a few things you could change about yourself or your habits.  I’m not saying that you need to change to have someone fall in love with you, they should love you for who you are, but you need to sit back and really evaluate how serious you are about finding love.  Here are five things you should think about and seriously consider if they are things that you should work on. It’s all about honesty and the most important person to be honest with is yourself.

1.  Are You Serious About Finding a Relationship?  This may sound like a stupid question, but the reality is are you actually looking to fall in love?  If so for how long?  Do you have accounts on Manhunt, Adam4Adam, Grinder and other Hookup sites?  If you do and you are heading there for hookups, you probably aren’t in the right mindset for finding love.  Regardless of whatever excuse you use like you go to chat with friends, you still have the account on hookup sites and apps.   How is it going to look to the person you want to be in a serious relationship with as well?  It will always be in the back of their minds that you have those accounts and that you could be using them.  If you seriously want to find love and you meet the person you think you are in love with, those accounts won’t mean anything.  If the people in there are your friends you can chat on IM or call them on the phone.  True love doesn’t involve hookup sites or even accounts on them.  The only person you think about is your partner.

2.  Are You Honest About Your Interests?  We all love to say that we like to walk on the beach or enjoy a romantic dinner.  Some people say they love to watch a game, but the reality is most of us don’t.  Suppose you meet someone and they liked you because you like Rock Climbing or the outdoors, guess what, if you don’t then when they want to go camping and you want to head to a broadway show, you’re going to have a problem.  If you don’t like the outdoors, don’t pretend to or say you do.  Be honest about your interests.  I was dating a Rugby player and he always wanted me to go to his games.  I said I was into sports and it was miserable.

I went to support him but I hated it.  I could have spent my Saturdays doing something more productive like drinking in a bar or killing myself.  Both sound like better options than sitting through 4 hours of rugby games.  I should have never said I thought it was cool.  Some people can learn to like it but make sure you are honest about what you really like.  Maybe you’ll find the person that loves those things and can introduce you to other similar things.

3.  Are You Looking For a Life Partner or a Year Long Lover?  It’s ok to not be ready for a life time commitment but to want a long term relationship to share parts of your life with.  If you’re goal is to fall in love but not have to marry, realize that and don’t pretend like it may last forever.  If it ends up being a life long relationship that is great, but if you don’t think it will be for your life, don’t try and fool yourself and your boyfriend or girlfriend into thinking it is meant to be.

4.  Are You Really a Top?  This sounds funny but if you lie about what you like in the bedroom, you may find yourself straying from the person you love.  If you’re a bottom but want to pretend to top, don’t pretend.  If you like S&M, when the time is right don’t be afraid to ask if they are ok with trying it.  The reality is that everyone likes certain things.  If your needs aren’t being met by your partner then you stray.  Look at all the straight men and women who cheat.  Look at all the couples that break up over finding their partner at a fetish bar.  If your partner loves you then they may try it because they’ll know you have certain needs.  Even if they save it for anniversaries then it is still them making the effort.

5.  Where Do You See Your Life And Home Life In The Future?   Kids and the suburbs are definitely something many people want.  Other people want a life without kids and in a condo in the city.  Are you willing to sacrifice where and how you want to live for your partner?  If your partner has always dreamed of having a cabin in the country with noone around and you hate wildlife, you may have a problem.  The city is great when you are younger but if you never want to leave and your partner has dreamed about a white picket fence in the suburbs, that could be the thing that ends your relationship and prevents you from meeting the person who would have liked to live where you wanted to live.  If your relationship gets serious, you may want to have the talk about kids, where you want to live and where you guys see each other in ten years or when you get older.

Many people go and say things that they think the other person would want to hear on a date.  The reality is that not being honest or not letting the person you want to fall in love with know what is really important to you is what could be the end of your relationship.  Be honest in your profiles online and you don’t have to pretend to like things like a museum if you hate them.  If you’re honest and the person you are dating is honest too, you may find that the relationship could work better.  Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

April 29, 2010

My Partner.com A Gay Social and Dating Site

Filed under: gay dating,MyPartner.com — Tags: , , — rollerbladerdc @ 2:15 am

My Partner Gay Social Media and Gay Dating Site

One thing that most people either love or hate about Summer is that it is one of those relationship or hang out with new friends and social seasons.  If you move to a new city or you are spending the Summer in a new city it becomes hard to meet people sometimes and can also be scary.

Many people are looking for more than a hookup, even though friends with benefits can sometimes be a good thing and they are tired of the same old chatrooms where you only meet people who pretend to be looking for friends but really want a one nighter or you only meet people of no quality.  This is why I stopped recommending most dating sites.  There is another option out there though for people who are looking for a real gay dating site where you have a better chance at finding someone of quality and someone who you can actually have a conversation with.  This site is called MyPartner.com.

MyPartner.com is a gay social networking site and one of the only gay dating sites that actually takes you and your interests into consideration.  I have had many conversations with the owner and the person behind the scenes at MyPartner.com, Patrick Perrine, and he is a master at his craft.

Patrick really believes that people can find true love when they are serious about it and that long term friendships and relationships can be developed by matching people based on real results and weighing them as to what is really important.  The most important thing though is to get people to answer honestly and when I had filled out my free profile at MyPartner.com I really enjoyed the way that Patrick has formed the questions and they really make you want to answer honestly.  Patrick found a way to not only help make people want to answer the personality and profile questions, in my opinion more honestly, but also help to create a network for Gay Men to socialize, meet each other and feel even more comfortable around each other.

MyPartner.com is one of those sites that you absolutely need to try out and if you are satisfied with the free membership, I highly recommend you sign up for at least a short term membership and really discover all of the benefits from a real gay dating site and gay social networking site for men.  Patrick has dedicated his life to helping gay men fall in love and find the right person for them and I know that if you sign up for a membership with MyPartner.com you’ll see why he has a talent for helping people fall in love and why his site is very different from other gay dating sites and social networking sites for gay men.  I love MyPartner.com and even though I am not going to say who I am on it, who knows, maybe one of you will end up being the perfect match for me one day.  =0).  Sign up for a free trial of MyPartner.com here and discover how Patrick can help you find your perfect match and fall in love.  Join MyPartner.com Gay Dating Site today.

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