So tonight I went to a baseball game at the stadium in DC and it was actually a ton of fun. I had no clue that Baseball games were almost the exact same thing as a drag show at a gay bar. I’m actually not even joking.
Everyone starts out by piling in and either being on a guest list with a red carpet to get in vip with season tickets or you fight through a line to buy your own. Once inside everyone gathers around the cocktails and snacks and gossips about the game. The MCs and hosts get everyone going like the DJ who announces the show is starting or to get ready for the guest performers. You have mascots, i.e. the queens who need attention and their drag hags running around to get the crowd pumped up and ready to cheer and you also have the people lining up and getting bitchy about being moved from reserved seats when they were trying to steal someone else’s reserved seats.
Once the game starts they play tacky and campy music to get the crowd pumped up and instead of speakers cracking or glitter flying they have a loud and obnoxious MC and fireworks. Then the announcer plays bad music and everyone in the crowd claps off beat and dances and instead of a queen introducing everyone they have camera men putting you up on a big a screen. Then they finally get the game started after parading a bunch of fans and people around.
They play a theme song and the players run around and wave, just like a drag show, then they take their place. I did notice one trend though, there is a solid reason Pitcher’s cannot hit the ball when they bat. They are absolutely given the wrong name.
The Pitcher stands on a raised platform the whole time posing, lifting his legs and bending over while everyone watches. Pitcher my *ss, he should really be named bottom or catcher because in reality, who else in the world would stand in front of that many people posing, dusting and bending over but a big old bottom. Ok so not really but at the same time not so sure they wouldn’t be bottoms if they were gay. So after he gets done throwing a few balls at some hot men with bats he ends up getting tired and so they take a short break. Just like with a drag show they make it full audience participation.
They play music for people to dance. They get huge mascots dressed up in drag like presidents to race instead of an underwear contest so that they can change Pitchers or give them a break like a drag queen changes their outfits or performers. The players and announcers play games and throw out tshirts, they have people dance and get the crowd excited for the next part of the game. Just like in a drag show they then introduce everyone and they start the game again just like they start the show again. If you still don’t think that Baseball Games are like Drag Shows then here is the final thing which really makes the two make sense.
When a drag queen gets on stage to perform she gets an introduction and then a song. When a player on the Nationals gets up to bat they announce who he is, show his autograph and then he gets to choose a song that plays. They walk up to the plate and then show off, work their song, swing their bat and hope for applause. It is almost exactly the same thing as a drag show and when I really thought about it all I had a really good time. I cannot wait for a night out at the game which is gay night at the Nationals game where gay people take over a section of the stadium and the DC Gay Men’s Chorus sings the National Anthem. I highly recommend going to a Nats game and highly recommend you have a few cocktails and then come back here to share how much you loved it.