We’re all tired of hearing about blah blah Sochi this and blah blah Putin that. Yes I am 100% opposed to what that douche is doing to gay people. But that dislike for him leads to fun drunken post-brunch blog posts like this one. Here are 1o Things I Love to hate About the Sochi Olympics. Feel free to add your own.
10. Corporate sponsors come “out” and so do countries to support the gays. They also produce some awesome commercials. Norway is amazing!
Norway’s response to Putin:
9. Stoli isn’t part of Russia, which means we can continue to drink and watch Putin-huh-huh wish he got that money from the gays.
8. Putin – Ummm,,,isn’t Putin or Putin-nany another slang term for a vagina? If you’re a possible closet case and named after a woman’s vajayjay, wouldn’t you be a little bitter too? As a gay man I can say that I’d be pissed off too about being named after one of those things that O’keeffe loved painting. Dear Putinanay, you can keep your vajayjay in Russia grrl and come out…we know it wasn’t your fault. Don’t believe me that he is possibly gay, read the next thing I love to hate about the Sochi Olympics.
7. The Dictator has murals and photos of himself (even topless) all over the place. Who else but gay men post topless photos of themselves everywhere, every chance and every place possible! Bitch, have you seen Grindr, Scruff or any other app? Gays love this stuff and so does Putinany.
6. The porn. You may bitch about the shower cams, but who better than a country that produces some of the hottest gay porn in the world (especially the military gay porn with the cute hats) than to film and mass market Olympic village shower scenes. I mean really, you didn’t see this coming? The Russians not trying to make money off Olympic porn or blackmailing athletes and countries for copies of the tapes?
No photo needed here. Use Google.
5. We get to see Tom Daly in a bathing suit.
4. The hotel rooms. Bitch, quit complaining. Have you ever stayed in Manhattan? You’re lucky if your suitcase can make it through the door, you can fit your body into the shower one part at a time and even have room to lay down all the way. The only difference is that the bedbugs realized Sochi is too fing cold so they stay in Manhattan.
3. More Tom Daly in bathing suits.
2. No more Smirnoff…thank god…guaranteed hangover. Stick to Stoli…btw where is my Stoli? Ohh must have been a fail like the red ring…at least it wasn’t a pride flag that they forgot a color on. That would have caused a serious anti gay backlash which unfairly would have been funnier and easier to call them out on.
1. Wait seriously, Tom Daly isn’t getting in a bathsuit in this one…f*ck this I’m over Sochi, lets stick with Stoli.